By Mary Bennett

Today is my birthday and the third month anniversary of WHO (World Health Organization) proclaiming a global pandemic.

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That sounded important at the time, but not something that affected me directly. The following day I went to Banyen Books to hear my friend Bruce McIvor talk about First Nations issues. I sat there in a small, windowless, crowded area with about 30 other people. 

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Then on Friday I attended a memorial service where we were well under the 150 people allowed at the time. The church had been thoroughly cleaned. The husband, over 90, was joyfully elbow-bumping people in the courtyard, demonstrating that hugs and handshakes were not OK. That was Friday, the 13th. Nine days later I learned that 11 of the people there had come down with covid symptoms. That got my attention.

Three months later. On today’s sibling birthday phone call they asked me what I would do for my birthday. Was I going out for dinner? Had I gone out for brunch before our call. I explained: I haven’t gone anywhere I can’t walk to for nearly 3 months. I’d only met people outdoors and at a safe 6’ distance. My brother said he’d think about me all day and in the evening, he would raise a glass of Scotch in my honour.  I said: OK I know how I’ll celebrate: I’ll walk to Darby’s and buy a bottle of Scotch and toast myself as well.  So, we learn new ways to show our love for each other--friends and family. 

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I love my Kitsilano neighbourhood and devote a fair bit of time to community projects here. It turns out that was a wise investment. Through neighbourhood connections I have felt supported even though I am largely self-isolating.  

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I have gotten to know a couple of people much better by meeting them one-on-one albeit across a two-metre distance. I’ve rediscovered the pleasure of fairly spontaneous, one-on-one conversations whether in person or over zoom. 

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To zoom or not to zoom? And if so when and with whom? While some things and some people just seem not to work on zoom, others are better, at least in some ways. My women’s group has met monthly for 20 years. We now meet weekly over zoom. We do pagan ritual together; when we started it seemed odd, but it works.. We each set up our altars and take turns reciting the parts of a script sent in advance. We think we’re getting good at this. Since we live scattered over the lower mainland, it can take an hour to drive to meet in person. I bet we’ll continue zooming, at least some times.

 

Now it looks like this will go on much longer than I ever thought possible when it was announced on March 11. My church broadcasts on Sunday over youtube with a zoom coffee hour following. I’m not the only one that appreciates the chance to sleep in, save travel time and “go to church” in pyjamas with my coffee beside me. I may be getting lazy, but there are some things that seem to have a higher “cost-benefit” analysis in covid times.

 

Things are opening up now. I went out for dinner with two friends last week. We went at 5 pm to make sure to get a seat on the patio. About 50% of our conversation was on how we hadn’t eaten out for three months. 

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Will things open up just to be shut down again? Will my anxiety keep me largely quarantined regardless of what is officially allowed? Just as I think I’m ready to ride a back-loading 50% full bus, they increase the numbers to ⅔. Just as I get used to 6’ apart, people are relaxing into not moving as I’m out for a walk. 

I find myself now wondering as someone gets even 3’ from me, how many people have they been close to now things are more open.  Small children scare me. One recently rode his bike between a friend and myself sitting outside calling out “social distancing” as he rode right through the 6’ space!

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As BC moves on to Phase 2 and anticipates Phase 3, I’m still in Phase 1.3.  I plan to lag behind the rest of society, watching. I garden, watch Netflix, make art, visit people in tiny groups or over zoom. Now I’ll even go out for coffee or dinner occasionally.  I’m not in a hurry to attempt normal. Normal seems dangerous. When I think about what I’m missing, I just look at the risks for people my age and settle back into my own bubble. It’s a pretty comfortable bubble.