Story
The Flow of My COVID Journey
By Marie Samson
The big question for me as isolation set in was "what do I do with my heart now?"My heart was free, had healed from earlier heartbreak and felt big and generous and quite desperate to share with others or something. But who or what could I share my heart with now that self isolation and physical distancing had set in?
In response to “what to do with my heart now”? I painted my first watercolour that was then separated into nine altered images.
What emerged out of this process was “some parts of my life are sunsetting, some are sunrising."That’s exactly what my heart needed to hear (30 May 2020).
So I determined that “I was going to grow irrespective of outside conditions”.
Then a bunch of images came together to reflect the twisting, turning, inconsistent, incongruent and mostly inward journey I was on...
"Connected and separate we had not foreseen this coming either. Peace.”
So I understood even wise and spiritual elders around the world were taken by surprise.
“There is still a desire to play and be silly sometimes. Don’t get too serious.”
The question of keeping my heart safe remained present just below the surface...
“Can I keep you safe hiding away in the deepest depths of the ocean? Or on the highest spikes of a mountain?”
Following the news I would then wonder about the lives of people around the globe. So many were much more vulnerable than myself especially women and children.
“I wish I could keep you safe too”.
And then there was the desire to be innocent and happy and express it.
“Please, please, please can I go out and play?”
I'd walk the seawall and be reminded that “it was actually a beautiful spring apart from COVID 19”
Beyond politicians and medical professionals, “I simply want a wise one to tell me everything will bee alright”.
It was like Star Wars only these were COVID wars!
It seemed that “no-one was escaping COVID’s footprint - especially not Europe!”
The world had exploded with the nasty virus.
And “yet there is still an ocean of love in the world” I'd be reminded.
And strangely “I am happy” was also a feeling I had. Actually I often felt like dancing unless of course I didn't.
Then I found myself wearing almost the same clothes as the day before!
Then out of nowhere a massive shift of perspective and sense of what was important came.
.
Black Lives Matter.
Yup I protested alongside thousands in Vancouver. Thousands everywhere.
Wow what a wake up call and an abrupt shift in perspective!
For months I had been focusing on safety and survival for myself and those I am closest to. All of a sudden my role as a member of humanity became a central concern. Social justice is bigger than COVID.
And we’ve all had problems for centuries.
“We will do better.” #BLM 5 June 2020
In the midst of the tsunami of activity there was “so much hope for a bright and connected future".
#socialjustice #BLM”
And the question of “how can I stay grounded amongst so much growth?” became one I needed to answer.
Like many many people I was being swept along with the Black Lives Matter and Social Justice movement. Yet I was aware we still had COVID and what looks like the worst economic outlook of my career to deal with.
How could I address and integrate all of these issues and also continue to work towards my own goals and aspirations?
For me the resolution came by determining to “continue the thread of my life while incorporating change".
#BLM #socialjustice #COVID19”
As spring gives way to summer, I wanted to create some inspiring concluding images.
A new beginning or at least a victory of some sort to show what I had “gained” during my COVID-19 spring.
The reality is I don’t have any images for this.
Things are reopening, restrictions are reducing and hope is growing but there just isn’t a “done” ✅ or any true sense of completion for me.
We hear that tighter restrictions will return this autumn and who knows maybe there will be a COVID-20, COVID-21 or another global pandemic to battle?
Spring's lesson for me was "life continues regardless".
So I remain committed to being open and learning and adapting as I go.
It seems the most sane approach.
Let's see what Summer 2020 brings!