"How and when shall we continue our conversation?", said Allan. That’s the precise moment I knew I was really drawn to Allan and whatever is going to happen.

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“Hi Keiko,  I'm inclined to connect sooner rather than later so if tonight after dinner works for you ... I'm slowly getting used to Zoom and it might go smoother if you set it up. I'll try it with an ethernet connection for comparison. talk soon, 7p?”

 

His words always carry the art of gentleness. Alan is in his mid 80s, a retired professor in medical biochemistry. I met him a long time ago through our mutual friend, Joy Kogawa. Whether there was a rare coincidence or destiny, we’ve reconnected through a ZOOM meet-up I initially organized for the community as soon as the COVID-19 shelter-in-place started. Then, we decided to connect privately - the best kind of surprise gift with an unexpected feeling of anticipation.

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We sometimes shared our childhood memories.

 

"If you keep walking for a long long time, you will arrive where you were, because the Earth is round.", 

 

said Allan's father once upon a time. My mind wandered off to my hometown, Kumamoto in Japan which I left when I moved to Tokyo for school. Ever since I've lived elsewhere, NYC for 15 years and now Vancouver for 11 years. I sometimes wonder whether I've traveled too far and I will never be able to go back home. After finishing my conversation with Allan, I visualized the round Earth and that I've walked long (and hard) enough to finally make it my own home. The place I live right now has a beautiful sea and mountains that bring a memory of my childhood. Vancouver, my third hometown is becoming. 

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Every time I shared my watercolour painting, Allan always wrote a little note of reflection of our previous conversations.

 

“I'm NOT afraid that if you and I have more conversations we will get bored - on the contrary I hope we can continue them. Maybe this coming week if your schedule allows? Today I made good progress in writing about the unfolding of the universe. To some extent I was inspired by your 2 watercolor perspectives. They illustrate so well how the entity changes with the position of the viewer. Not just its substance, but their reality ... in the sense that the impact on the other can be changed radically by changes in space, and even more so by their relative position in the time dimension of the universe! From past to future, for example.”,

 

said Allan. I paused for a long time. I often re-read his words to appreciate his thought in silence and savour a mystical moment of connection.

 

Once I had not heard from Allan for four days. Did I scare him last time by sending him a short recording of our ZOOM meeting? In the early days of our budding friendship, I was not sure about what to make of the 4 day silence. Too long or too normal? It felt a bit outside of my “95% confidence interval”of my comfort zone. Being an epidemiologist sometimes, I am caught up in numbers. I laughed at myself but, joking aside, I suddenly remembered our verbal agreement in which he suggested we should be dead honest about our availability and all the matters we share. And then, I smiled and felt much lighter. I picked up a paint brush and made a semi abstract. The next day, on the 5th day since I had last spoken to Allan , I reached out to him and attached my watercolour painting (titled “in-between”). Allan replied,

 

“I was mystified by your first image when my screen contained only the upper left quadrant. When I got the whole on my screen, and I saw the tantalizing bottom right……..As your picture, among lots that I didn't see, didn't we talk about how much clearer things are when we see it from destiny instead of our need to twist to the "perfect" future we thought the universe should bring to us. ……”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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As time goes by and our bond gets stronger, I've noticed there are many things I no longer worry about, like a long pause. Be comfortable in silence like old friends.

 

Our love of science and humanity and our analytical disposition often led our conversations to a deeper abstract, sometimes mystifying universe. As he is much more knowledgeable and articulate than I am to understand and connect unseemingly related matters, I often followed his lead. Coming from a solid biochemistry background and life-long commitment to teaching, Allan explains and recaptures reality from the principle of causality, seeing humans as building up the purposeful structure of organisms. Recently we discussed that even time and death are the regulators of its adaptiveness to the environment that strike my imagination so forcibly. 

 

What I am receiving is nourishment  - the art of connecting, like the gentle words from Allan,

 

“Every time I walk through my living room.... I see your abstract. it's growing on me!”.

 

I read somewhere that old decaying trees deploy all the nutrients to neighbours of different species to keep the entire forest system healthy. I see the beauty in Allan’s presence. One day, I will be an old tree and will remember the correspondence. 

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Our friendship was born out of COVID and will remain strong even after the pandemic will come to an end. Oh, that's my happy ending!

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